This all started, as all things do, on twitter. I was scrolling my “TL” when suddenly, I saw the worst thing I’d seen, maybe ever. This strange man scrolled by with shiny teeth and “ice” on his chain. He was making the most obscene gesture I’d ever seen, almost making it seem like he was trying to shoot himself. I was appalled. Why would this man, who is obviously very popular because he is all over twitter, sending this kind of message. He is a very poor role model for our children. After seeing this unfortunate image on my twitter timeline I took a month of therapy, and muted his alias “Da Baby” on twitter (what does that even mean anyway, that is not how you spell ‘the’. It’s almost like he’s trying to be silly). I thought it was over.

Then, something devastating happened on April 9th, 2021. I was minding my own business, reading the messages on my favorite discord server, Dyldo’s Shit Server, when suddenly I saw something that would change my life forever (but not in a good way). It was this image:

At first I thought, “Why is Joe Biden doing this obscene gesture, my president would never encourage people to do self-harm.” Then I realized that I’d been had. A bad actor had edited the aforementioned image of “The Baby” to instead have the 46th president of the United States, Joseph “Big J” Biden as the face of this hideous image. Why someone would do this, I am unsure. It disgusts me. I had a Vietnam-PTSD-like flashback to when I had seen the image originally on my twitter timeline. I broke down into tears, and have hardly recovered by the time of writing this. When asked why he posted this, Less Doug DeMuro#6969 did not respond to our request for a comment on the matter. What a gabroni.

The only thing he said was “I can’t tell if you ironically or unironically don’t know the DaBaby meme” and when I responded “I don’t know who this is”, “I’m going to cry to be quite honest with you”, and “@DaEmery who is this”, he then finally responded with “google dababy meme”. When I did this, I was horrified:

Not only did I realize that my good friend DaEmery encourages self-harm, but I realized that he is also a neo-nazi. As I was preparing to call the police, I was relieved to learn that this outcome was only unique to google, as on bing you get this:

I now understood why Emery liked the baby so much, he is a furry. What an inclusive community we have, you love to see it.